Forgive Me

I miss you
Forgive me
I love you
Forgive me
I want you
Forgive me
I want you completely
Forgive me
forgive me for being selfish
selfish want to have you
have you only for me
Forgive me
I’m too demanding
After I saw you and understood your feelings from the look in your eyes that spoke to me
I know..
I know that you love me without the slightest doubt
Forgive me
I’m sorry I doubted you
Forgive me
be patient with me
I learn
i’m growing
to reach you
So that I can walk side by side with you

© Mynightprayerwords
© Poembyselly
© Selly Agtus

Live,Love and Grow

The reason why i love you
Because i find comfort in you
The reason why i choose you..not me who choose but my heart did it.
Without any expectations..i choose to enjoy this love

You are my wings when my wings are broken
You are the light when i drown in the deep dark of the black zone
You are the voice who’s keep calling me to come back to the light
The light that meant for me
For me to growth my acceptance of all the beauty of life itself

The hurt
The pain
The sadness
The unworthy

You keep telling me to stay strong..be who i want to be
Be who I am
The amazing woman who love herself and have big empath for everything
Acceptance is the key
And you will get what you want

You always convince me that the universe has a big surprise for me
As long as i keep stay grounded and keep in the right path
Coz I’m already in the right path

“Grow..grow..my love..you are worthy…you are amazing”

You keep encouraged me with your positive words and i feel motivated.

But let me tell you this.. “sometimes its okay not to be okay”
Yeah,i quote that words from one of my fav singer Jessie J. It worked for me

Doesn’t mean that words from you not working..its just…sometimes..i am in the hermit mode to rebuild my growth to be better than yesterday..
That keep me steady to balance my life

But thank you so much for you guidance,i really love that…and i really appreciate you

Be patient with me
Bear with me
I’m growing
I’m listening
And I’m following my path

© Mynightprayerwords
© Poembyselly
© Selly Agtus

Art painting by ©Helena Rose (fineartamerica)


Art painting by ©Helena Rose (fineartamerica.com)

+ and –

ups and down
ups and downs
Yes, this is how I feel right now
feeling alone?…yes, this is how I feel
The voices in my head are arguing so that I stay positive
okay, I stay positive…but sometimes circumstances make me a little off track…yeah..not stay positive anymore
well..hey, I’m not a robot…I’m an ordinary human who sometimes falls in the pit of sadness
anxiety?…maybe yes..maybe no….
because we are like a TV that we can set to choose + and –
it’s just how we choose to move forward
move on for your own good

© Mynightprayerwords
© Poembyselly
© Selly Agtus

Art painting/Drawing by ©Jinx (drippy heart pixels)

Art painting/Drawing by ©Jinx (Drippy hearts) Pixels

Feeling Good

Today I woke up feeling sexy.
and i feel in the good mood.
I want to enjoy my life, even though there are many trials that crush me and stress me enough, I believe that the universe has a beautiful gift for me.

© Mynightprayerwords
© Poembyselly
©Selly Agtus

Art painting by : Diamond Painting Square Full Drills – Eye of Universe, BoutiQ DIY 5D Diamond Paint by Number Kits Handmade Puzzle Picture Home Wall Decor Stress Relief Arts Craft for Family or School, Meditation

Paint by ©Number Kits Handmade

Fill Me

my imagination dances wildly
imagined by the sweetness and seductiveness of your figure
always makes me thirsty
thirst for your caress
your caress that makes me forget everything
touch me
feel me
I will accept you completely

© Mynightprayerwords
© Poembyselly
© Selly Agtus

The Journey

when i get close
you stay away from me
when i pour out my love
you push me away
when i decide to be quiet
you pulled me back
“what is wrong with you?”
I ask in my heart
but you are silent a thousand languages
when I decided to give you space
You asked me to come back to your side
“why you keep doing this?”
I ask in my heart
you stay silent
your attitude breaks me
shattered like shards of glass
the glass shards that must be collected to return to make me whole, even though there are scratches there

time passed, I tried to balance myself, so that I could continue to live my life.
“Be present” yes, that’s the advice you always tell me in each of our meditations.
meditation and heart language that only the two of us know.

But I’m also human, sometimes I can’t balance continuously, like now.
so, My Love… allow me to be unbalanced today
because I just want to be myself not a robot without feelings.
So, let me enjoy this negative energy for now…
enjoy disappointment..
enjoy crying
enjoy heartbreak…
and i will get better after this

But, when I got better
You should be able to accept the new me…like being reborn
And then I will know
that this is our journey
one soul in two bodies
fateful journey

© Poembyselly
© Mynightprayerwords
© Selly Agtus

Follow @poembyselly on @mirakeeapp

Magical fingers

stop!
stop it!
I moaned…
no!
stop!
I’m moaning more and more in the confusion I’m going through

“oh..how skillfully those fingers trace every single one of my body…”

stop!
I repeat it again..
the more I rebel.. the wilder the fingers work… making me more and more crushed and give up in resignation…

“oh…no…oh…” I whispered softly
but those skillful fingers didn’t stop…more intense and this time it wasn’t his fingers anymore that moved…
I suddenly felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time….and

“oh…oh…no…oh…” without realizing it I moaned pleasure…I enjoyed something sensational…

“Oh..I lost…my defense lost…I gave up…”

without realizing i enjoyed it
my body moves on its own without me telling
moves more and more wildly until it reaches the peak of pleasure and ends with a body drenched in sweat and the core fluids of each of the two human bodies that have released the pleasure that has been held back so far.

© Poembyselly
© Selly Agtus

Follow @poembyselly on @mirakeeapp

Untitled

now ….
I can’t describe my state and physical condition
what I feel right now… my sweat is falling… my heart is beating fast… my body is shaking and my hands are stiff
shivering… curling up… surrender
when i try to close my eyes…i see you…
when i open my eyes…you fade…
when i close my eyes…i see you smile at me
and faintly I hear with the eyes of my heart…the eyes of my mind..and my hearing… “I love you”
And I fell asleep in happiness that carried me soaring across a galaxy full of stars


© Mynightprayerwords
© Poembyselly
© Selly Agtus

Release the doubts

When a doubt arises
You come with your energy
Your energy that makes me comfortable
Comfortable with something calming
Calming all my doubts about things that haven’t happened
You hold my hand tightly and you give me your smile that can make me melt from the frozen hope
Your eyes speak “everything will be fine”

© Mynightprayerwords
© Poembyselly
© Selly Agtus

Embracing the Love

Every time I see your face, I feel your energy embracing me tightly.
just looking at you makes me float makes me intoxicated with love … I feel my body lightly float … floating in a galactic sea full of stars and all kinds of energy envelope me.
I feel that I am not the same as before … I feel a change in myself that I don’t know how to describe it myself …
white light …. green light … red light … purple light … blue light … yellow light … all kinds of light and color seemed to shine on me and surround me … and that’s where I saw myself ..
. being in the middle .. ready to accept all changes in any form
all this happens when I open all the doors inside of me … all the doors in my heart … all the senses in me … all this happens because I feel the genuine love you give me …
I didn’t feel my tears running down my cheeks … not sadness … not anger … but tears of happiness … I embraced all of this … all the blessings that happened to me … because it all started with you

© Poembyselly
© Selly Aug
~ DiaryOfSelly ~

Me (when the anxiety suddenly come)

I want to feel like screaming until my voice is gone … I want to feel like crying until my eyes are swollen …
I want to feel like I drown myself in despair ….
the more I mourn for myself
the more I feel sorry for myself
the more the pestle feels humiliated
felt more and more empty
feel more and more lonely
is this the name of despair?
is this what i got after all
will I get happiness?
or is happiness just fake for me?

© Mynightprayerwords
© Poembyselly
© Selly Agtus
~ DiaryOfSelly ~

About my dream

okay, I want to tell you, last night I dreamed of being chased by an alligator.
in my dream I was in the river and enjoying the beautiful scenery, near the river there are some unique and comfortable houses.
I was on a visit to the riverside area, and it looks like I am either on vacation or spending time in one of the houses.
I really felt a very strange feeling, curious, and excited at the same time.
like experiencing deja vu.
“why have I ever felt this situation” I asked myself.
sounds weird? Yes, you guys must be thinking like that.

a dream that parents used to say “ah, it’s just a flower of sleep” that parents used to say when children told their parents when they dreamed.
maybe you could say that and be accepted at that time.
But when we grow up and we have undergone various kinds of life experiences, we will be more looking for what the dream means.
Is that part of a guide on your spiritual journey?
or affirmations from divine and universe ?, thereby alerting all your senses.

and when I started my spiritual journey, my intuition felt a vibration that confirmed, that the dream that I have been having lately, is one of the clues, or affirmations, or messages brought by your guardian angels, messages through dreams that are specifically for me so that I can
learn what it means in my life.
on my spiritual journey.
I really have no words, because it’s all beautiful

To be continue….

© Selly Agtus
© Poembyselly
~ DiaryOfSelly ~

I’m Yours (My Precious Diamond)

I’m Yours

Happiness comes suddenly
The happiness I’ve been waiting for
I dreamt about a beautiful Diamond in my finger. Then i was saying to myself “wait a minute…is this real?” I jumped off the bed and then sitting speechless in my bed….wondering what just happened.
And then i realized…that was an amazing dream manifestation…and i found you,standing there..looking at me with warm eyes and beautiful smile.

Because for me…
The diamond is you,who was standing there looking at me with the eyes of love and who always guided me when i fell down..Yes,The Diamond is You,my precious Diamond that i have.

Your lights always lighten me
You are the Diamond of my heart the one who stole my heart
You are My Knight shinning armour wearing the full light of love coming towards Me

©Mynightprayerwords
©Poembyselly
©Selly Agtus

An Ego and Desire

Okay,I’m not good with words..I’m not good in beautiful words either. So,i just write what’s in my head.

yes, I do admit that I am too demanding to be understood, seeking your attention, but that’s all I do because I miss you so much.
sounds like a dime novel, but I really miss you.
Once upon a time I decided to stay away from you, but I can’t.
I felt my soul is getting empty.
while you’re there waiting for my presence, you will never give up with me .. but what have i done?
.. I stayed away from you just because of an ego and desire to have.
forgive me for making you disappointed, I love you too much … yes, I love you … you are a part of my life, my light when I was in the deepest place without light and you came to shine on me and took me home … you are me …
and I am you..we are one soul in two bodies

©Selly Agtus
©Mynightprayerwords
~ DiaryOfSelly ~

Early morning

Its 3:30 AM… I woke up and sit on my bed,trying to figured out about my dream. I was saying “what was all about?”. I had a haircut in my dream..and i packed some clothes in my hand bag. “Where will I go?”. Yes,that question suddenly came. Because it’s obvious that i decided to leave this country. At least that was i feel when i was in dream. Suddenly i have a vision and i see the words “you’ll start your new life”,and yes..i’m shock..”wait..is it for real?” Yes I questioning myself about this. I dont know what will happen,but i guess let it flow and let the divine timing speaking.

©Selly Agtus

Be Who You Are

Many people will underestimate you
Many people will blaspheme you
Many people will hate you
but there are some things you should be aware of:

  1. It’s because you are unique
  2. You are smart
  3. You are talented
  4. You are loveable
  5. You are creative

And if more and more people will hate you, you have to be more confident, because you are not wrong, they don’t like you it’s none of your business, it’s their business.
You just do what’s best for yourself, and be creative, keep shining, because you’ve already started your journey.

© poembyselly © DiaryOfSelly © Mynightprayerwords © Selly Agtus

I’m just a stranger

I realized that if I came into your life out of nowhere, it was like a missile fired from a cannon ready for war. I know that I’m just a stranger who may be treated as a nobody, because I’m not. I am but a woman who craves genuine love from one who can accept me for who I am, for all my shortcomings. I was the mother of a beautiful angel, I was a protector for those whom I loved. I’m not young anymore, I know my limitations, I don’t look good anymore, not like when I was young. But I never lie to my feelings, because I don’t have time to play games. As time went by faster and faster, I realized that I could only hope and wait, even though the end of the story had to hurt me again for the umpteenth time

~ DiaryOfSelly ~

© Selly Agtus

Good morning

I still laying in my bed… thinking of you It’s so nice to imagine your face..so calm..so cute…I love it Keep shining like you do now..coz people around you and people who need you will be bless to have your energy,coz you spread the good energy for everyone…and for me..I can spread my energy too by saying..

“Good Morning Soul Healer”

~DiaryOfSelly~

© Selly Agtus

Imagined you

I just closed my eyes. And I found your face that makes me smile. I dare myself to smile upon you,… Although I feel my heart rate rising,… I dare myself to say in my heart,… I fell in love with you… Even if I didn’t have the guts to tell you, because I knew it would make you slow down. But I say it in my heart, because I know that you know what I feel

©Selly Agtus
~ DiaryOfSelly ~

Claustrophobic

This chest feels claustrophobic. This heart aches just torn apart.. crushed.. Hope is fading.. Would I be able to patch my heart Medicating myself heavily Do I deserve to be loved?
I know it sounds desperate. But I try to rise above the abyss, Although it is very difficult for me
© Mynightprayerwords © poembyselly © Selly Agtus
~ DiaryOfSelly ~

Forgiveness

Too often I have felt disappointment and hurt, and for the umpteenth time I have forgiven anything. It’s true, the start of the first step is difficult, because the pain I feel is overwhelming.
Reluctance to forgive has led me down a downward spiral That encouraged me to open my heart to forgive

© Mynightprayerwords © Poembyselly ©Selly Agtus
~ DiaryofSelly ~

You and then Me

You and then Me

When I realized the significance of your presence in my life. Your soul seems to be submissive to an unholy love When I get to know myself and the taste I have of….. I realized that you exist only for me
I know and understand that I cannot form beautiful words to describe my feelings and my ability to write is limited, but at least I understand that I am not a hypocrite to acknowledge my limitations. I’m just a regular woman who’s in love repeatedly with the same person…you..yes you..
©Mynightprayerwords © Poembyselly ©Selly Agtus
~ DiaryofSelly ~

Love © 3 minutes ago, Selly Agtus   love • hope 

Alone

Alone

Alone but not alone, together but still feeling alone, your soul, your inner, your own feeling. When someone comes to you and understands you completely, both your soul and your body, even your heart. Will you let him go?, the one who has discovered your true self?


© Mynightprayerwords © Poembyselly © Selly Agtus
~ DiaryofSelly ~Self-love © 3 minutes ago, Selly Agtus   love • hope 

Brokenhearted

my heart was hurt many times I try to stay strong, but I always fall. I know it’s not easy to do, but I have to stay strong, because there are still some people who love me.
heartache in the same thing that sometimes makes me tired trying to endure.
sounds like self-pity, but right now I want to be honest, that I’m not okay,it’s okay not to be okay (this is my fav word from Jessie J song “who you are”)

©Mynightprayerwords
© Poembyselly
© short story
©Selly Agtus

yes,Those Words…

Day by day I try to limit every word I say, even writing I try not to be too pushy. But I myself was hurt by what I did. My thoughts drifted far, deep inside my heart I said “am I worthy?”

Yes, those words that I kept repeating over and over again, just for the sake of avoiding fear, fear of being hurt again. I’ve even built my wall defense to the highest level (although I don’t know what level is the highest level?) Maybe for me it is already the highest level. I try to open my heart … again. But the fear always arises continuously, the fear of being disappointed, hurt, betrayed, dumped … and there are many other terms such as heartbreak.
I make time for myself, with the goal of “I need me time” okay, I did, but I still get back to the starting line of “am I worthy of being loved?”

© Mynightprayerwords © Poembyselly ©Selly Agtus

Startle You

I hope I don’t startle you with the words “I love you” because that’s how I feel.

maybe I was too quick to conclude my feelings for you, but I have no regrets with this love I have. I know you need time for all of this, and I also don’t want to force these feelings on you. All I know is, I love you sincerely, without forcing you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

© Mynightprayerwords © Poembyselly ©Selly A

I’m okay

I’m okay

Okay, I’ll tell myself I’m fine.
For the next few days I feel tight in my chest..but I will try not to pay attention to what I feel. Returning to the way I started, I told myself I was fine. Okay, for the rest I will spend my day creating an atmosphere of happiness, the point is to make myself happy by doing whatever I love. Okay, a few weeks I was still holding on (even though I really wanted to scream), but I still stubbornly admitted that I was fine.
Spring Days passed, time after time kept changing, even I still hear the sound of the clock ticking in my ear. Trying to keep saying “okay, I’m fine”. It’s easy to say this, but actually these words make me realize even more that I’m not okay. The more I try to be okay, the clearer it will be to actually be involved that I’m not okay.

©Mynightprayerwords
© Poembyselly
©Selly Agtus

A Diamond in the old jewelry box

like a diamond No man’s land … is it proper to feel this way?
Yes, for the first time I felt like this. As time went on … and I, who called myself a hunk of diamonds, remained in my place, a forgotten old jewelry box. And when someone found an old jewelry box in which I was, a piece of diamond, I felt for the first time happiness, because at that moment I realized that I already had someone who accepted me for who I was. Yes, a piece of diamond that has been long forgotten …

© poembyselly
© mynightprayerwriting
© Selly A

Spirit

whether or not you fall depends on yourself in the face of a problem. It is hard, but if we may open ourselves and open our hearts and look around us, do we have the person we love ?, if so … then reach for someone you love to be your spirit in the face of your heart’s exhaustion

© mynightprayerwords © Poembyselly ©Selly A